“What if I’m Not a Writer?”
If you’re a writer, you know the many challenges.
And if you’re a writer asking, “what if I’m not supposed to write anymore?”, this blog post is dedicated to you and every writer because it’s something we’ve faced or likely will face one way or another.
I’ve been taking writing seriously for around six years now and it has always been one of my greatest passions. I’ve always known I wanted to write. I’ve always been drawn to the idea of writing and publishing my stories. I’ve poured a lot into writing these past six years…
…yet in these early months of 2024, I’ve wanted to quit it all.
It’s hard to even say that I’ve wanted to give up on writing, since it is something that has always excited me even with its challenges. I’ve had days where I wanted to give up, but tried to show up anyways. I’ve always had this thought of, even if quitting was easier, I couldn’t give up on my stories. I love them too much. This year, it’s been different– I’ve wondered why I ever got so dedicated, I’ve wondered if any of my books are even worth working towards publishing, my question of “am I even a good writer?” has overcome my determination. It has overcome my creativity. My love for stories. Everything. It’s kept me from writing anything at all. I’d open a document, read over things, add a sentence or two, then close it and realize I had no will to add anything or try.
I’m saying this because I know so many writers struggle with this. Especially when life gets busy, you have so many other responsibilities and it’s easy to push writing to the wayside and it seems so much less important than everything else going on, then by the time you sit down to write. Nothing. Is it even worth it? Should I ever have even told people I’m a writer?
Writer, I can’t think of any other piece of advice to give you besides: don’t stay in that place. But, easier said than done, right? I want to give you ideas on how you can reset and remind yourself of the reasons you shouldn’t stay there. It’s more than a pep talk, it’s more than trying to overpower the reasons you think you’re a terrible writer with a dozen sticky notes of affirmations. Let me be clear, those are not bad things. But, my friend, you need to know WHY YOU WRITE. What is your reason for showing up? Who do you write for?
Writing has been an obsession in my life multiple times.
Just writing alone. And truth is, I can only write so much before I write myself into a ditch– creativity gone. I showed up every single day– yes! I’m writing! I wrote this many words, this many chapters, I’m almost done with my third draft and I’m starting to think about what I want to publish first– but wait, I’m completely unsatisfied. Writing suddenly meant nothing to me. Getting wrapped up in my expectations of success in writing, whatever “success” looked like to me, was ridding me of my true reasons for the art.
Ask yourself why.
I forgot why this year.
It was all about my skewed versions of success. Writing enough, fitting writing into my schedule so I could cross so and so off the list. But, I forgot the most important thing. What and who do I write for? Do I write for myself? Do I write for the exhilarating feeling of accomplishments? Do I write for the glory of publishing and people seeing it? Do I write for perfection?
I write for the One who gave me hands to write in the first place.
Who gave me a mind and a body and created the art of writing.
I believe in God, I believe in Jesus Christ, and since day one HE has been the reason I ever wrote a first page of ANYTHING. I’ve been working on a Christian novel that takes place in the western 1880s, and showing up for it has felt impossible. Because I lost sight of Who I write for, God gives me all the words, creativity, vision, and energy to write that I need. But, when I’m wrapped up in my list of distractions, I’m no longer writing on the foundation that I believe I should be writing on. It all crumbles down, and suddenly I wonder if I’ll ever write again. If I’m supposed to be writing.
So, writer, ask yourself why you write and DECIDE to do it. Put all those lies beneath your feet and hold onto that reason why you’ve always wanted to finish a book, let distractions watch you run forward as you leave them behind, say no to fleeting reasons and find your foundation. Writing is so much more than words, you know that if you’ve ever been moved by a book. I believe novels have the ability to inspire minds in an extraordinary way, let’s not take that for granted and let's use our passion for writing to change and encourage hearts.
Here are some questions to ask yourself if you’re struggling with this (write down the answers, record a video/audio of yourself talking, anything that helps you process it!):
At the beginning of this project, what was the thing that got me most excited to work on it?
Who/what do I write for?
If I never published this novel, what would it still mean to me?
If I gave up on this story, what would I miss about it?
What is keeping me from showing up for my project(s)?
What is writing TRULY about?
Writing stories is so much more than chasing perfection. I know I may sound like a broken record with this topic, but I truly believe that writing and stories are a powerful vessel to share a message. If we shift our perspective to that, put our hearts in the place to share what we love about our stories, the doubtful thoughts aren’t really any match. :)
There is so much more to discuss on this topic! So, if you want to chat more about it please feel free to contact me and I would love to connect. In the meantime, thank you so much for reading!
~ Hannah
Keep writing!🖋️